Everyone's talking about: Tourdrobes
I can't bear this suspense!
What's the matter?
I've registered for Taylor Swift tickets. I've got my code. I can apply at 2pm on Tuesday.
You're beside yourself because Taylor Swift is generously allowing you to apply for her (predicted to gross $1 billion) Eras tour?
I might get lucky.
You probably won't.
Don't be negative. I'm so confident that I've already got my 'tourdrobe' sorted.
Aren't you a bit, you know, mature for playing dress-up?
Melons out for Harry Styles in New York City, outside Madison Square Garden, in August last year
You're as old as you feel.
Or as you look in a sequin unitard.
How did you know about the sequin unitard?
It's the same one you wore for Harry Styles.
No, Glastonbury, actually…with my Dodgers shirt.
Why a Dodgers shirt?
Elton John was playing! Everybody wore them to reference his iconic Dodger Stadium performance of 1975. Have you been living under a rock?
Clearly.
Well, just to explain the tourdrobe trend, the point is to turn up to a gig wearing a homage outfit.
We're getting that.
After the first night of her recent Renaissance tour, when Beyoncé wore a mirrored cowboy hat, searches for 'disco cowboy hats' nearly broke the internet. Up 525%!
People certainly have a lot of time on their hands.
She then collaborated with London's designer department store Flannels X to create a Renaissance collection and the queues went all the way down Oxford Street.
Like we just said…
I assume you'll have missed the Harry Styles watermelons too.
What did that reference? His support for the gourd family?
No, his song 'Watermelon Sugar'.
People dressed up as watermelons?
Don't be daft. It wasn't the London Marathon. People referenced them.
How do you reference a watermelon?
There were a lot of iron-on patches at the gig I went to.
We didn't think those were a thing any more.
Well, they're back. In fact, I read that sales of watermelon iron-on patches at Hobbycraft went up by 54% in the run-up to the tour.
Did you buy some?
I didn't. I went with the feather-boa-and-flares look which was also very popular with the 'Stylers'.
Isn't it time for Silver-Stylers like you to hang up their feather boas? Elton has hung up his sunglasses.
The glasses live on!
What are you talking about?
The Elton John pop-up eyewear store in London's Soho. Surely you know about it.
Assume we don't.
Each pair of glasses (£140-£200) has a name inspired by Elton's legacy: Captain Fantastic, Honky Cat, Walk of Fame. It's open until the end of this month.
What a shame: we're flat out until August.
Anyway, Elton may have retired but Madonna promises she's still coming to the UK despite putting the Celebration tour back due to her illness.
And obviously you'll be there to greet her in your conical bra.
My Madonna tourdrobe plans are fluid. I'm also toying with lace-trimmed bloomers.
Does anybody wear normal clothes to gigs these days?
Um, Coldplay fans, probably.
What do they wear?
Dunno. Something beige?
That's much more like our tribe.
Well, you've missed Coldplay so come to Madonna with me.
Maybe, but we're not spending a fortune on silly clothes.
You don't have to. Many fans go DIY with their tourdrobes.
That sounds ominous.
Hobbycraft, £3.80 each.
What are?
Their foam cones.
I might prefer the lacy bloomers.
